Thoughts From The Editor – March 2020
By Debbie Meehan
After having a lovely lunch the other day with two of my favorite Veterans, WWII Veteran Jack McGreevey and John Eberhardt, I ran into a woman I hadn’t seen in quite some time while walking out of the diner. As we began to talk she mentioned to me it was her birthday. When I smiled and wished her a happy birthday she went on and on about how she hated birthdays and growing old was horrible. How her weight was creeping up on her, how her face was full of wrinkles, her body ached and she felt like her mind wasn’t as sharp anymore, she was forgetting everything and so on and so on … I think she was in her late forties. As I got into my car I said out loud what I wanted to say to her, “Thank God you’re growing old.”
It makes me crazy when people say growing old is horrible (family paper so won’t use their exact phrases) because what is the alternative? Life must go on and if you want to continue to live, basically you have to grow old.
I wish I could have taken that woman and placed her in my car and journeyed her back through the past couple of weeks and show her some of the people I saw that would love to have just one more birthday to celebrate, fighting with all the strength inside of them to live so they can grow old and those who love their golden years.
First together we would walk past a grieving mother who lost her daughter from an overdose of drugs and I would have had her compare her wrinkles to that of this young girl’s, it would be hard for her to find them though, because when you die at 22, you don’t have wrinkles yet.
Then we would visit a young mom in the hospital who is fighting with every breath she has for just one more day to be with her family, there she can compare her aches and pains with that of a woman whose aches and pains never subside. She could also reconsider that thought about the couple of extra pounds she put on when she sees her frail body that has now wasted away to skin and bones, her cancer, making it impossible to “put on an extra couple of pounds.”
After that we would stop in at the Evergreen Senior Center. The room is filled with life and everyone’s dressed in red for their Valentine’s Day party. There is singing and laughter, dancing and friendship and for some reason I don’t think today any of my senior friends are worried about a wrinkle. For today they have too much to do, too much life in them yet, and if they are worried about anything it’s about too many tables stretching onto the dance floor and they won’t have enough room to dance. Getting old is horrible…don’t tell them that because these seniors don’t know what age is and another birthday…bring it on, it will be just another reason for them to have a party.
Lastly, I would bring her back to the diner we left. I would let her join me and my two Veteran friends for lunch. Sad to think this forty something year old woman thinks her mind isn’t sharp and can’t remember things any more, (maybe to enhance ones mind you must rid it of the negativity that fills it and then you can think clearer). My friend Jack is 91 and his mind is still sharp with memories from the past. When I join these gentlemen for lunch every couple of months our conversation is that of days gone by, of people that they have met, places they have seen and things they still need to do. The stories they tell are filled with such detail it’s as if they lived them yesterday. Jack still puts on his suit every day and goes to work because there is no stopping him, there are older veterans that need help and new ones coming back from overseas that need direction, there is still so much work and living he feels he needs to do. Do not tell him he is old, for his face, lined with beautiful wrinkles that reflect the wisdom and grace he has gained through life, will certainly laugh right at you.
My point is age is a matter of mind. You can be old at forty or you can be young at ninety, the choice is yours. But keep in mind some people don’t have that choice and they would take every one of your wrinkles to grow another year older. Beauty grows from inside you and age can never reverse the beauty of ones soul with a wrinkle.
So this year when it’s time to celebrate your birthday, have a party, thank God for another year of life with your friends and family and if you need help blowing out the candles…just take your cake over to the Evergreen Senior Center for the breath of life in that group will have no trouble helping you blow those candles out. As they say life is about the breaths we take so keep breathing and keep living because life is so precious, enjoy every moment of it!
Thoughts From the Editor – February 2020
By Debbie Meehan
As I sit down to write my column this month I do so with a heavy heart with the news of the tragic helicopter crash of Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gianna, Christina Mauser, Sarah and Payton Chester, John, Keri and Alyssa Altobelli and pilot Ara Zobayan. I mention all of their names because on that helicopter was not only a basketball legend who was larger than life to most but I’m certain that everyone that was on that helicopter was larger than life to those who loved them.
Stories in the headlines such as this one brings us to a shared place of grief where we not only feel horrible and terribly sad for all those lost but it reminds us again how incredibly fragile life can be and how the simple task of getting home safely is one we all take for granted.
While I was eating dinner the other night with my family, my daughter looked at me and said, “Can we just turn off the news mom, I can’t hear another bad thing.” And she was right. The headlines of the past week not only nationally but right here in our surrounding towns were just so tragic and we just needed something good to think about for a while, something that didn’t break our hearts or make us angry; we needed something positive to give us a little break from the bad and I knew exactly what story I could share with them to remind them of the blessings we have in this life.
Earlier that day, I headed to Town Hall to meet up with two very special little girls named Emily and Sophia, along with their families. Sophia, who was turning six the next day, was the little girl who lived in the Colonia home where the plane crashed and destroyed all the family’s belongings, including all of Sophia’s toys. Emily, 7, is the little girl of one of the Woodbridge Police Officers that was on the scene of the crash that day. Though they had never met, the fate of that dark day somehow intertwined their young lives together for the better.
After a long day on the job, Detective Mike Barbato went home to his family. He had to explain to his daughter about what had happened that day and that a little girl her age, who lived in the house, lost everything. Emily felt so sad for the little girl, she couldn’t imagine her losing all her toys, so she decided she wanted to help her. Over the course of the next couple of months, Emily sold over 500 little unicorn keychains at school fairs, St. Andrews Church in Avenel and took mail orders so that she could help Sophia buy new toys. One of Emily’s little school friends even donated his birthday money to help. Emily was on a mission of kindness to help a little girl she had never met or at least not until this past week.
On January 29, 2020, Sophia and her mom came into the chamber at Town Hall where Emily and her parents were busy putting together gifts to give to Sophia. The two girls were very quiet at first, but then Emily handed Sophia a bag with a big unicorn (they both loved unicorns), balloons and a check for $ 3,750.00 so that Sophia could buy new toys. Emily also handed Sofia a box that she wanted her to bring to her classmates. Within the box were little plastic bags that had a unicorn keychain, and a picture of Emily with a note that read;
Hi, My name is Emily and I am 7 years old. I recently sold these keychains as an act of kindness for your friend and classmate, Sofia. I would like to give one to each of you as a reminder to always be kind!
After Emily finished handing Sophia all the gifts, the little girls hugged each other with quiet giggles and large smiles as we all stood there crying watching a friendship unfold before us that was brought to life out of simple kindness.
Simple kindness…seems like such an easy thing to give. If only we as adults could learn from children like Emily, and others like her, to make time to do things for others without expecting anything in return except maybe… a hug and a giggle.
Pass kindness forward….it’s the best thing you can do for your soul!
Thoughts From The Editor – January 2020
By Debbie Meehan
As I sit here this month finishing up the paper while watching the snow fall, I do so with a peace around me from reflecting back on the goodness I’ve watched unfold from the holiday season gone by. It never ceases to amaze me how kind the human soul can truly be when we stop focusing on the negativity in the world and rather fill our hearts with compassion and kindness.
When mid November approaches each year, so do people who want to help. I’m not sure what it is about the holidays that make us all a bit kinder, but for some reason it just does. This year during the holidays, our community donated food and turkeys for so many Woodbridge Township families in need of a warm meal for the holiday. It seemed every time I went out I came home and found another turkey or basket of food in my hallway that someone dropped off to help another in need (thank god I have great friends with big freezers). And the goodness just never stopped the whole season. I’d like to share with you just a few of the moments I saw this season to warm your heart during these cold winter days…
December 1st- Woodbridge Police Department and Santa and Mrs. Claus spent an early Sunday morning shopping in Walmart with 17 children who needed a little extra holiday love this year. After the police officers individually shopped with the children, the children were taken on a bus to Iselin Firehouse where upon arrival they were greeted by yet more WB Police Officers who were there since 5am preparing a delicious breakfast for them. These elves in blue were not working on the clock that day, in fact they were volunteering their day off away from their own families during the holidays as they continued to do what they do best as they served and protected the “little” residents of Woodbridge Township.
December 13th- Colonia Middle and High School students spent the evening at our Annual Cookies and Cans event packing up food and cookies that were dropped off that evening by residents of the community. The students first packed up the large boxes that were to be sent overseas for the holidays to local Troops so that they could have a package from home to enjoy while being so far from their families. The students overfilled the boxes with cookies and tons of candy that was also donated along with many supplies. While they were packing, I showed them a few pictures of the men and women they were sending the boxes to. Next thing I know, these students who were there for community service hours were writing personal cards to the troops, talking amongst themselves about how hard it must be and putting such gentle care into each package, for now they weren’t just any old boxes, they were being sent to young men and women who lived in their town. They continued to put that same compassion and kindness into the dinner baskets they made up next for families in need. They took great care to make sure each family got one of every item and if they couldn’t find that item at first they searched until they did. Again this wasn’t just for anyone, it was for a family in need in their own town. After the baskets were packed up the students and adult volunteers wrapped toys for 19 children to be delivered to Woodbridge Twp. families.
December 7th & 14th – On December 7th, Woodbridge Billiards Club along with WB Twp. Police, Firemen and EMT’s spent the morning playing pool against each other in an effort to collect toys for local children in need. The price of admission was one toy but most carried in an armful to secure that no child would be left without a present. Then, on December 14th, Terri Falco and Pat Trombetta spearheaded a beautiful Children’s Christmas party, along with their many volunteers. The room was filled with beautiful little voices singing carols as they waited in anticipation for Santa. As Santa came into the room and began to give out toys, little eyes sparkled with happiness, as caregivers eyes filled with tears of gratitude. Without this party, many of these children may have gone without a toy this Christmas.
December 20th – With just five days left to Christmas, Santa packed up his sled one last time to visit 4 special families. Two of the children we went to visit that evening are battling serious health problems which keeps them in their homes to prevent them from being exposed to germs. Since a visit to Santa at the mall would just not be possible this year, Santa came to them via the Colonia Fire Truck (thank you CFD). The sparkle in their eyes and excitement in their hearts when the fire truck pulled up with Santa could be the postcard for what the meaning of Christmas should stand for. Santa’s next stop was to pay a visit to a family that is new to our town and who does not yet know a lot of people. Santa stopped in to visit their three young children and to say thank you to their dad, who just returned from his deployment in Iraq. Santa giving this soldier a hug solidified our thanks to those serving our country who could not be home with their families this holiday season. The hug, a symbol of thanks and peace, was for all our troops. Santa’s last stop was to visit the little girl and her parents who lost their home when a plane crashed into it. Surrounded by a large group of cousins, aunts, uncles and friends, this family today was not mourning the loss of their home but instead celebrating all they still had and the realization that it can change in a moments time. This Christmas the greatest gift they received was the blessing of life.
Love, kindness and compassion should not end just because the holidays do. Keep it in your heart all year long and let’s keep taking care of each other so we can all be the best people we can be. May peace, love and health embrace your families in 2020!
Thoughts From The Editor – December 2019
By Debbie Meehan, Editor
I love everything about the holidays because to me it’s when people seem to shine the brightest, even when the world can be a little dark. There’s something about the holiday season that brings out the best in us. Trust me, if you could take a look around my office through the holidays you would know just what I’m talking about by the amount of cans of food and unwrapped toys that have been donated to help people in our community. People are good, contrary to popular belief. They want to reach out and touch someone’s life, especially in these days when the world is so unsettled and it seems peace is so hard to come by. Yes, the world has changed, but it doesn’t mean we need to change our compassion and human kindness for each other. Someone once told me that “the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others” and at the holidays it’s easy to find joy and contentment in your heart when you’re helping someone in need, it truly does bring out the best in you.
The true meaning of the season is not about what we receive from others, it’s what we give to others. It’s not about what material gifts we have, after all, those are just possessions, things that easily get discarded through the years as we grow tired of them or they break. The true gifts are the friends we’ve made and the lives we’ve touched along the way through the simple acts of kindness we do.
Truth be told, if someone asked you what gifts you received last year would you really remember? I doubt it.
But if you ask the little boy who stood quietly at the community center until Santa took him on his lap and gave him a shiny fire truck or the little girls and boys whose eyes lit with excitement when Santa, Mrs. Claus and a group of blue elves (aka Woodbridge Police) showed up at Walmart to take them shopping for the holiday, what they received for Christmas that year, they will tell you every detail. Not only will they remember that gift but when they are old enough to understand they will remember the kindness of strangers that gave them a holiday they otherwise may not have had that year or possibly wouldn’t have enjoyed so much.
People fall down and go through difficult days for all kinds of reasons but there is no stronger hand then the hand that reaches out to pull them back up and shows them kindness. For in the end, it’s not the trinkets you’ve collected through the years, it’s the people you’ve collected, the lives you’ve touched and the friendships you’ve made, those will always be more valuable and personally, I’d trade every shiny trinket I was ever offered to keep those memories and the people I love instead.
So this holiday, take a breath and breathe in what the season is about. Give a toy to a child in need, give food to a family that is hungry and do so without judgement, do so simply with just your heart. Spend time with an elderly neighbor who is all alone and just wants someone to talk to, sit down for a while and listen to their stories, for as good as it will make them feel, it will make you feel even better.
Doing this as adults is also a great way to teach our children that caring about others and being kind is so important because it will help them grow into strong, compassionate and kind human beings and the world needs that more than anything else right now. Technology changes every day and the world becomes more advanced and that is a wonderful gift for our future generations, but human kindness, that should never change, generation after generation, compassion and love for our fellow man should always prevail for if it does, goodness and hope are sure to follow.
Wishing you and your families a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah and a wonderful Holiday Season and may we all look into this New Year of 2020
and find peace, love and human kindness!
Thoughts From The Editor by Debbie Meehan
November 2019
A community is a group of people who share something in common. You can define a community by the shared attributes of the people in it and/or by the strength of the connections among them. You need a group of people who are alike in some way, who feel some sense of belonging or interpersonal connection. Communities are people. They are not abstractions. They are not rhetoric. They are human beings.
On October 29th, the community of Colonia was shaken to its core when a plane crashed into three homes. Unfortunately the pilot of the small plane was killed, but somehow by the grace of God no one on the ground was injured in the crash. The aftermath of that crash could have been catastrophic had anyone been home in the house, had it hit another house with families inside or had it hit one of the nearby schools. Immediately, the Colonia Fire Department was on the scene, along with every fire department from Woodbridge Township and other neighboring towns. I was there at the scene right after it happened as neighbors gathered to see if they could help anyone or do anything. All their words were the same, “Are the families ok, was anyone hurt?” All along thinking of the realization that the plane could have hit any of their homes while they were inside. I don’t think there was a person in the crowd that had gathered who wasn’t thankful to be alive at that moment and who realized that this terrible tragedy could have been so much worse.
In the days to follow once again the residents of this community stepped up to help the families that were affected. Immediately before the flames were even out the Mayor set up a Charity fund to help the families. On the Saturday after the fire we spent the day outside the Evergreen Center collecting donations and gift cards. So many people in this great community stopped by to support these families they didn’t even know. “They are our neighbors, we just want to help,” one woman said. Another handed me a soft teddy bear for the little girl that lived in the house that was totally destroyed and said, “I wanted the little girl to have something to hug,” tears rolling down her face and ours as she spoke.
But, out of all the beautiful words that were spoken that day and the kindness that was shown, the one that moved me the most was that of two young boys, Aiden Pydeski, 10 and Declan O’Rourke, 12, of Colonia, that came to make a donation.
Like most young children the boys love Halloween and the sweet treats they receive but this year what they wanted to receive was much sweeter: As they went door to door they handed their neighbors this letter…
“Happy Help-O-Ween”
“Hi, we are the “Jofrendy Kids” (we live in the area of Joanna, Frederick and Wendy). As you know, on Tuesday, October 29th, not far from here, a plane crashed and destroyed 3 homes in Colonia. After seeing this devastation in our community, we knew we had to do something to help! So this year instead of treats, we are asking our neighbors to consider giving us your spare change as a donation for these families that lost so much. We will still be Trick or Treating door to door but for donations instead of candy. All money collected by the Jofrendy Kids will be donated to the Woodbridge Community Charity Fund which has been designated by the
township to collect donations to help these families.”
Aiden and Declan raised $ 592.15 and I think their letter says it all…
Community is a group of people who share something in common and this community what they share in common is kindness and human compassion for each other, and there is nothing better than that!
So remember, this holiday season promise yourself that you will slow down and enjoy it. Give food to someone that is hungry, give a toy to a needy child, bake cookies for an elderly neighbor and then stay with them awhile, or attend one of the several fund raisers or events we have listed in this issue, give the gift of yourself this holiday season, for there is truly no better gift to give.
From our families to your families, Happy Thanksgiving!
Thoughts From The Editor By Debbie Meehan
October 2019
(Editors note: I wrote this column a few years ago but I think the message is important during the month of October when we bring awareness to this horrible disease and honor all the brave heroes that are afflicted with breast cancer and all cancers).
Hero (male) and heroine (female) in the dictionary is described as someone who, in the face of danger and adversity or from a position of weakness, displays courage and the will for self sacrifice—that is, heroism—for some greater good of all humanity.
Heroes come in all kinds of people. They come in our police officers, fire fighters, first responders, armed services men and women and anyone who takes an oath in their jobs to “honor and protect” the community it serves. Those kinds of heroes have the risk of walking into harms way every day they go to work or volunteer their time. But these men and women who put their lives at risk for you and I, do it because that is the honorable path they have chosen to make a difference in the world.
But some heroes don’t choose to be heroes, they become that way because of the road that fate has placed them on and courage and strength are skills that they have acquired while walking along it.
Along with the autumn breeze comes the colors of fall. The warm colors of browns, oranges and yellows, that give a welcome sign that fall is upon us. But this year as we step into the month of October there is another color that surrounds us, one for some reason I hadn’t noticed as much up until three years ago. The color of pink.
The color first caught my eye as I was watching the Giants game that year. Every player, every referee, every coach, was wearing something pink. Whether it was their shoes or helmets or whistles, every one of them had pink somewhere on them to remind the world that it was Breast Cancer Awareness month. Local stores, businesses and schools also strived to use the color pink to bring awareness to consumers and young students.
Maybe I notice it more now in the month of October because it makes me think of the friends I know who are or were battling this all too wide spread disease. I, along with most of you, have had friends who have battled this disease, who have lost to this disease and who are fighting this disease with all their strength today. I admire these women for their courage and strength and I know their battle has made them stronger and more grateful of every breath they take.
But today as I write this column on the first day of October the color pink is reminding me of a very special woman I met many years ago when our daughters were in kindergarten together. I wrote about her in this column last year but I feel it’s only fitting to tell you her story again because I think of her strength and courage often and she is always a gentle reminder to me why life is so precious and every breath we take is a true gift. Though we had never been the closest of friends ours had been a friendship that had grown through the years as together we had walked beside our children through the same school days in the same town in the same places.
This amazing woman had been fighting breast cancer for as long as I’ve known her. At first I was shocked to learn that she was sick. She was beautiful, upbeat and always had a smile on her face, not someone I pictured who had cancer. But I soon got to learn more about her when she contacted me to put a fundraiser in the paper about a walk her and her sisters were doing to raise money and awareness of breast cancer. I got to know her more through her efforts and was amazed at her strength, passion and determination to make a difference in the fight against breast cancer. I saw her at her highs and I saw her at some of her lows but I always saw her with her beautiful smile, fighting harder than anyone I ever met to beat a diagnosis that she didn’t have a choice to receive. Every time I ran into her, I was always humbled by her grace and courage, most of us don’t know that kind of courage nor do we ever hope to have to, but she had it and I admired her and looked up to the person she was. She wasn’t just fighting breast cancer for herself, she was fighting it for her daughter, for her sisters, for her friends and for all of us to make a difference in the world because she knew she had to.
My friend Bette Ann Pinkham lost her courageous battle to breast cancer on March 19, 2012 at the young age of 48 surrounded by her loving family. Today, her beautiful daughter Samantha continues her mom’s fight to bring awareness and raise money to find a cure in the memory of her mom and her aunts through her family’s foundation called Pink SOC’s.
Yes, she was the true definition of a hero, as are all the other warriors who are fighting this disease, and my column this month is dedicated to them.
A famous athlete who was diagnosed with cancer a few years back once said;
“If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or fight like hell.”
“Fight like hell!”
Thoughts From The Editor…Debbie Meehan
September 2019
It seems like yesterday I was dropping my son off at SJV pre-school. He had been quite ill at the time and my fear of letting someone else care for him took my breath away. I stood quietly in the hallway after he went into the classroom for what seemed to be hours. I was afraid because he had respiratory problems and he was crying so hard that I knew there was a chance he would have difficulty breathing and I didn’t know if they would know how to help him like I did. After about 15 minutes (wasn’t really hours) his teacher came out and gently took my hand and assured me I could leave, that he had stopped crying and they would take good care of him. As I turned to walk out of the school another mother asked me if it was my first child to go to preschool. I realized she had been standing in the same hallway with me, assuming with the same tears in her eyes. I smiled at her and said “No, he’s my third child, you’d think it would get easier.” She understood just what I meant, one mother to another.
Fast forward 15 years and I feel like that same mom again but this time I’m standing in a college room helping that same child unpack his things knowing that this time when I drop him off I wouldn’t be coming back at the end of the day to get him, this time he was on his own making his way into a whole new world and he couldn’t wait. As his roommate (a fellow CHS graduate and friend) and my son started to unpack their things with the help of their tearful moms, I knew, though as sad as I was, that this was what I raised him to do, what we all raise our children to do, become independent. So the answer to that question of “Does it get easier with each child?” Absolutely not!
When I looked around I noticed most of the parents had the same look on their faces; confusion, fear (though not sure if the fear was the letting go part or the college payments around the corner), excitement, pride and a touch of sadness, not for their children but for themselves, at the thought of letting go. After we finally settled the boys in we took them to lunch then headed back to the dorms. We jokingly asked the boys if they wanted us to come in and finish setting the room up, I don’t have to tell you what the answer was to that. We knew it was time to say good-bye and let them start exploring their new world which they couldn’t wait to do. I hugged my son as he whispered to me that it was OK to leave, he would be fine…just go mom, don’t cry. So with a heavy heart filled with happiness for him I got in the car and I cried from Rowan University to exit 131 on the Parkway.
I knew that the tears rolling down my face were because I knew at that moment, once again life had changed, for the better of course, but they still changed. But life is about change and without change we would never move ahead, we would never become better and we would never find out where our place is in this world. Sometimes we stumble, sometimes we get lost but they are things that help build our character and give us courage and strength along the way as we walk forward to become the best we can all be. After all what else could you wish for your child than health, happiness and love, that’s what binds us all together.
As we move ahead in our lives so will our children, sometimes they will need our strength and courage to guide them and sometimes we will need theirs. So whether you pick them up at the end of the day, they drive themselves home in a month or they come visit you with their own children, remember life is about change and knowing that no matter where that change leads you, you can always come back home.
Wishing all of your children and grandchildren a wonderful school year and for those who have graduated and are starting out in the real world, I wish you a successful future.
